Being transparent on the internet is fallible! Especially when a reader wants to be contentious and look for fault. Broad statements by the blogger can easily be misunderstood to say the least!
Got the first negative comment this blog has ever had and I’m thankful I haven’t had more!
Just read your QF story. So your first miscarriage was punishment for using barrier contraception, but the others were not punishment.
No, that is not the point of any comments in our story… I’m sorry it may have seemed so. I don’t believe we have been punished but I do believe that each time we have lost a baby we have had a reminder to surrender to the will of our Creator; in matters of life and death He knows best.
So it’s okay to accept help from an elderly person, accept donations from strangers, and declare bankruptcy (thus screwing over your debtors for the money you owe to them) as long as you keep on having kids.
I’ve mentioned that we lived in the upstairs rooms of an elderly fiends home. It was a mutually helpful relationship… I’d lived there for several years as a single and after marriage and living with my husband in an apartment we decided to ask if we could stay in my old rooms while we decided what direction to take with employment and housing… we paid rent and helped her with her house/ property the whole year we were there as a family.
I mentioned being blessed with a stranger being led to approach me with a small money gift with no knowledge of our specific need and another time a $60.00 gift from some local Christians ( I ended up donating over a hundred dollars of materials to their church because I wanted to bless them too)
Bankruptcy can hit any person/ or any sized family… I see it as nothing unforgivable. When you loose your salary, have a freak engine blow in your only well maintained vehicle that ruins it and you still owe on it, you try to pay off as much debt as possible and your health suffers from scrimping on your food budget… after years of trying to honor agreements sometimes you have to make the hard choice of bankruptcy. It doesn’t automatically mean that you made a lot of terrible choices… And it doesn’t mean you are milking the system either. Even when b+
eing frugal you can need help a few times in your life. We have only had help from Jobs and Family Services a few times for like 6 months at a time. Again, that has nothing to do with family size… We never have used help as a long term solution to income.
Ironically in those rough 2 years we were in the middle of bankruptcy we never got more than some food baskets from a local food bank and some clothing from a charity as well as WIC ( which is available to households that have 4x’s as much income as we’ve ever made.)
Surely there is nothing in the Bible that says that you can live this way just because you keep on breeding. Lady, you are a breeding sow who consents to being led around by your husband by a ring in your nose. You and yours are a burden on society when you cannot even pay your bills and have to declare bankruptcy. In this economy, will the rest of us pay for YOUR kids through welfare because YOU cannot do so? Is that “biblical”? Get some condoms and go get a job to support the kids you already have rather than breeding more.
I don’t consider it a bad testimony to have declared bankruptcy. It was a time of great hardship and much soul searching about what to do, morally. I did almost get hired in the past but they aren’t usually thrilled that I had/ have 4+ kids to care for that would come first if there was illness etc… and back out of hiring me often at the last step of hiring in!
Sadly, this person’s comments are believed by Church goers and leaders… we have no support locally because of similar judgments passed on us for family size.
We are frugal and try to be as self sufficient as possible. From observation of the average two kid families we are doing a great job of not being wasteful or a burden to anyone.
I do enjoy learning to let my husband lead as we share our ideals and make mutually agreeable decisions. My husband laughed out loud about the thought of him leading me around as though I have no say in anything; generally I have plenty of room to help make decisions.
Children being a product of ‘breeding’ and children born to bless the world they are brought into are two vastly different perspectives on life and the responsibility to care for and bring up the next generation. I’m sorry that reader has the view they have… or any other persons might feel the same way.
Cindy
July 20, 2011
I am sorry you have had those comments. It is sad that the church has the same attitude toward having children as the world…IS THAT BIBLICAL? Families and churches are supposed to step in and help when another member is down. That is Biblical.